Goodbye to all you Wanted (part6)
by Xxbrokenpictures
Summary: OK! *UPDATED* yesss .... it's been long!! i know! all my reader must have left me .. *sniff* i hope u guys didn't! r/r!!plz


untitled (for now)  
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By: Buffy Ann Summers  
  
a/n: um ... im sorry this chap. sounds crappy. I just started again cuz, its like summerbreak. Anyways, spare me and   
review to tell me how pathetic i just got in writing. hm.... R/R!! PLEASE... i know i know it's been like VERY LONG.  
ANYWAYS, my hand hurts! need to go!  
  
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Spending another night alone  
Wondering when I'm gonna ever see you again  
Thinking what I would give to get you back baby  
I should have told you how I felt then  
Instead I kept it to myself, yeah  
I let my love go unexpressed  
'Till it was too late  
You walked away  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
He backed away from the corner absorbing the gruesome details of death. No one saw him  
enter. No one saw him leave. His mind screamed within it's subconscience to fight back the   
incohrent news. He rejected. His soul cried out and with each step he took, he remained strong   
until he hit the sidwalk -just feet away from Buffy's house he broke down. It was a pathetic  
sight. Nevertheless, he was the big bad. Breaking down to cry was never part the hidden agenda  
kept away within the pockets of his leather duster. Hence, there was no agenda.  
His bones collapsed on the pavement with a thud so silent it could have been heard with   
total and acute silence. Taking out a cigerette, he puffed tiny little clouds that matched the  
lingering feeling inside. With disgust that rose immediately he fanned them away with a fling of his  
wrist. He wanted to help. But the useless feeling he had inside just told him, he had done   
enough trouble as it is. He knew without a question, the slayer was judged because of her   
feelings for him. Did Buffy love him? truely love him? he shook his head. No. not him. not   
ever.   
  
"I knew I'd find you out here .." came a voice "It's kinda crowded in there don't you  
think?"  
  
Spike shrugged his shoulders and never bothered to look up "Look mate, I'm in no mood to  
get all buddy-buddy" he spoke inhaling smoke into his dead lungs.   
  
"I know" came the stated answer "thats why I'm here"  
  
Whistler took a seat next to the brooding vampire. Spike could have lashed out, but he  
knew there would be regrets of things in the future he knew he wished he hadn't say. The   
accumalated space on the sidewalk was much for the both of them, but Spike choose not to listen.  
The streetlights flickered off in the distance and the usual scenery of the stars that hung above  
them slowly disappeared. Everything wasn't correct. And the correctness of how things were placed   
in his life wasn't all that everything. He wanted to cry. He wanted to do things that went against  
his pride as a vamp.   
  
"You love her don't you?" came whistler's voice that followed after a long sigh "funny   
isn't it .. people find love in all the wrong places, but often those type of feelings work out  
better than the ones found everywhere"  
  
He scoffed loudly "is that what you came to me for? .. to preach to me about those   
sodding lovey-dovey things ... what kind of creature do you take me for, mate?! Honestly -i think  
thats an insult" puffing smoke he sighed "I don't call it love. infatuation maybe .. how the  
hell should I know"  
  
Whistler looked at him "You mean you don't even know what your in?"  
  
He scoffed again "it's the slayer were talking about .. anyone with her doesn't know what  
their getting in .."  
  
He nodded as if he understood. But the concept of what the vamp tried to get was to far   
within his grasp. It was silent again. He tried to make it a friendly evironment for the both of  
them to talk, but Spike was far off the meter measure for just talking.   
  
"Ok, I'm going to lay your cards on the line here, kid" he spoke with such offensivness that  
could have been taken as rude and yet in some insane way prudent "Your what buffy's got right now."  
he glared at him "no one in that house can do anything about it. Nevertheless, if you continue this  
useless brooding -i might as well go find someone suitable for helping her"  
  
This caught his attention and right after letting the speech sink into him he stood up   
"tell me What to do"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Just tell me  
How I got this far  
Just tell me  
Why you're here  
And who you are  
'Cause every time I look  
You're never there  
And every time I sleep  
You're always there  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"G-giles?"  
  
"It's suitable don't you think?" spoke the second judge, with the accent of an englishman  
quite close to the way Giles spoke. As a matter of fact, so much closer that it scared the hell out   
of her "but enough of the chit chat, were here to fight and thats what i intend to do ..." he smirked  
and with the gentle ease of his foot he attacked out of no where.   
He thrusted his fist out to aim a punch. Buffy ducked and took the comfort and balled her hands  
to block any incoming attack. She took a step back swung her left fist at him and exerted force into  
the kick she depended on. Giles stumbled a few inches away which gave buffy the upper hand.  
  
"You can look like him" she spat "but you could never be him"   
  
Giles lunged at her and Buffy was taken by surprise. She fell hard and solid on the moist   
ground "your right my dear" spoke the judge as he took buffy's right arm and tugged at it "i couldn't"  
she grunted as she tried to free herself, but the more she insisted into wrigling herself out -the more  
twisting she felt on her arm "but it would kill you to know thats this would be the only face you will  
see when you die .."   
  
He laughed hystericaly and buffy felt her arm prick with pain. It hurt like hell and she closed  
her eyes to drown the pain out. But it came back triple the amount of hurt she felt before. It had to  
end. he had to give up.   
  
"we made you slayer" he continued no longer faking his voice. It was deep and the tone was  
menacingly eerie. It was as if his voice didn't want to leave the hearing range of her ears "you were  
the perfect slayer we concived from our wildest immagination. Cunning, strong, and feirce. But  
you went around and disobeyed us. Never did we thought this day would ever come."  
  
"There's no such thing as perfect" she strained trying to keep her voice away from sounding  
as if she couldn't take the pressure he had on her arm "no one is. and no on will ever be."  
  
"lies, all lies" he accused now griping the back of her hair. Buffy was relieved to find her  
arm was still functioning.  
  
"I never lie" bashing his face with her back portion of her head, buffy quickly moved away "ok, i do  
lie, but not all the time" her hair clung to her face and with much effort she pushed them away.  
  
Buffy hurled her body into the air slamming her foot into Giles's chest. He fell halfway, and buffy  
caught a handfull of his shirt. She punched numerously at his face and the sickening crunch of his nose was  
something buffy was used to. In minutes, his face was drenched in blood. For a second, Buffy stopped. Even  
though, he was not Giles. He resembled him. He resembled memories that died not so long ago. he had the  
hands that taught her. He had the eyes that watched her, and he had the mouth that spoke to her. Buffy shook  
her head. NO.  
  
"Hard isn't it?" he managed to say, in a wisphered voice "but it hurts. Thats how it feels -thats how we  
feel slayer. No one ever thought you would fall for a vampire. But that is one thing we cannot control. We have no  
power over your heart. Your heart decides what it needs and what it wants. But it pains us to know that even though   
we control destiny and fate, we have no saying over this. However if it is what your heart truely desires, then leave it  
to your heart. If he is really ment for you -then live child. Live to love him forever."   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
On a night when every line is a curse,  
I thought I would save you, I keep making it worse.  
I would give everything that I own for what it takes.  
I would give everything that I own for the love that it takes.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So lemme get this straight -mate" he stood not far from him "all i have to do is step into this-"   
he took one look at the blurry hole on the ground. Actually, the hole one the ground was in the Magic box  
on a hellmouth. Spike shuddered "and it'll take me to oblivion? -your off your bird" he took a step back  
when the hole increased it's size and ate peices of the floor.  
  
Whistler shook his head "no. if you want to help buffy. your going to go this way"  
  
He cursed under his breath and muttered about how whatever he was getting himself into should  
be at least amusing -or so should the screnary be. Nevertheless, he shook his head slightly "Ok, fine  
but if there at the end of this bloody tunnel should there be a part where my bloody head comes out of   
my rear" he pointed his index finger at Whistler "you will pay .."  
  
He chuckled a bit timidly and spike shifted his head to him "I don't recall this being a laughing matter"  
  
"sorry" he muttered before cutting to the chase "I need to tell you something though" it was  
silent before he cut the air with his blade like information "There is a downside to what your doing"  
  
"WHAT? you mean going down this bloody hole?-" he peered down the blurry void that grew larger by  
the second. It beckoned him to jump, but with the restraints he was enduring at the moment told him that  
it was best to take the cautious approach" it's harmless!"   
  
"but there could be a downside"  
  
"downside .. yes .. im jumping down not up"  
  
"Just be careful, Spike. It's bad enough i don't know what could happen when you come out of there"  
  
Spike shrugged his shoulders "then I'll tell you when i come back out .."  
  
He took a step forward and slip into his death. NOT that he wasn't dead already. But he could have been   
dead if he was alive. The ride wasn't bumpy as he thought -it felt as if he had been knocked into another time frame.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I will try and leave it all behind   
and go for what it takes   
to let it show.  
But there is reasons you cant see.  
You will be the end of me  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He fell with a loud and seemingly painless thump. Nothing broke his fall and with the suggestive feeling of  
pavement beneathe him he was still alive and intact with all his precious and accounted for body parts. He cursed as he  
got up and dusted himself off.  
  
"now where the hell could i be now?" the room looked endless and filled with acquirable knowledege that sat onto  
pages on top of pages of old and ancient ink. They wisphered to him to come forth. Allowing him the mysteries of the   
universe. He shook his head. Buffy was his universe now. Or so he thought.  
  
The long corridors uttered death amongst the timeless tid bits that were placed as decor. It was a gruesome mood  
and Spike did not feel up to the setting. He needed to find Buffy -where ever she was. It was a get in, drag her ass, and   
get out situation. he smirked thinking to himself just how much he sounded like soldier boy. Captain cardboard -where was   
that wanker now? He shurgged his shoulders and continued on his relentless search for the slayer.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Making my way down town   
Walking fast  
Faces pass   
And I'm home bound  
Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Limply, the man in her grasp died and disappeared. His words alone shivered her spine. She opened her fist  
that held no remains of the man that once hung from them. She slid to down to the grass and slumped her shoulders.  
His voice echoed in her ears. Scrapping and gashing until there was no proof of a single release. 'If he is really   
ment for you -then live child. Live to love him forever' it echoed in side her brain, rattling her insides till she  
no longer could take it.   
  
She whimpered grasping the sides of her head and the throbbing. the throbbing didn't want to stop. It began  
to rain. The drops of tears fell down from the cry that cried them. The pain seemed to progress into something even  
more than belief could withstand with her. This was not pain. This was pure and immediate torment. Again she wimphered  
and attempted to stand. Heaven help her.  
  
Just then a hand came out of nowhere. She looked up. Him.  
  
"Spike?" she uttered, it was a dream.   
  
Wake up.  
  
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TBC .... 


End file.
